The Unwelcome Guest

My conscience was under redevelopment
And I had visitors in the new home I built,
They came and go, some stayed for long,
But the unwelcome guest never left.

The unwelcome guest stayed in the bottom cellar,
Which was there in the pit of my stomach,
Isolated it was, as there was no room
To notice it, with the other visitors.

The unwelcome guest was often hungry,
But it had learnt to oppress its hunger,
Because in the dining room in my heart,
There were other guests being fulfilled.

Until one day, there was silence,
Etching onto the corners of my stomach,
The hunger of the unwelcome guest could no longer be suppressed,
It made its way to the dining room.

The seats were empty and the shadows lurked,
My conscience was now a building out of order,
I have learnt to fix what’s broken and I solve equations I get accidently right,
But the unwelcome guest has cast a shadow so dark,
Every light has ushered out,
The chandeliers in my heart don’t sparkle anymore.

There are no visitors willing to stay,
Everything is intact but nothing is right,
But the unwelcome guest remains ghosted,
Until one day.

As the unwelcome guest wants to take over,
And become the owner of the house I’ve grown till now,
Which though is out of order right now,
With the unwelcome guest pulling the reins,
My home will destroy to ruins.

The unwelcome guest can’t be fed anymore – as it has become the feeder,
It is eating at me and every part I call home
And leaving me with my veins ripped off,

It’s waiting for the pain to become so deep
that it’ll become a habit to master over time,
The only thing I feel would be emptiness,
Because pain would be the habit which will become me,
And the only feeling I’ll ever feel, but yet not a feeling.

The unwelcome guest cannot be defeated,
As hatred is what I deserve,
I have tried too hard to be someone I think I was
But now I know I am nothing,
But a puppet in the hands of this guest I did not invite.

The dining room has turned into an empty stage,
The windows are shut and the roof at a endless height,
The dust of the diner’s footsteps are hiding behind faded curtains,
The path is now paved with broken glass

As the unwelcome guest has become my owner,
My soul is surrendered to that invisible face,
Which has been proving me wrong since the day I believed,
That peace was something I could achieve.


Hello everyone! I had written this one a while back however I am posting it now. This poem is a fictional piece of work, with the concept of ‘the unwelcome guest’ being the central motif, that is a concept, idea, object which repeats itself throughout the text and is hence recurring.

The poem begins with the setting of a well- built house, with the unwelcome guest not being prominent due to being kept buried by the owner. However, gradually the factors the owners held on to for not dealing with the unwelcome guest eventually moved away which paved way for the unwelcome guest to take control, rather than the owner having the chance to deal with the unwelcome guest.

The main motive for writing this poem was to display the disturbing effects of the negative feelings inside us, and how keeping it buried does more harm than good.

Yes, it is important to have a perspective to understand our thoughts and emotions and our very being, but it is alright to not have an immediate perspective about everything, and sometimes feeling your negative emotions is the only way to gain needed perspective.


P.S – Am I the only one who is totally obsessed with the ‘evermore‘ album by Taylor Swift? It feels like it was only yesterday when ‘folklore‘ came out (which I am still not done obsessing with) and now we have evermore. If creating two albums in a year especially the year being 2020 is not an achievement then I don’t know what is.
Check them both out on Spotify here!

And here, I end this post. You can contact me here and I will reply as soon as possible!

Thank you for reading!
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@theniharikadiaries

The Business of Broken Worth

Photo

Photo Credits – Film Daily

She sighs,
Her eyes are sunken into dreams she has forgotten to see,
But her face is luminous and her hair shines
With the light she lost within herself.

She drags her feet because her wings are broken,
To that place where her worth is stolen,
Where her tempting appearance and fake smile,
Gives away the dread in her eyes.

She inhales,
The air she is forced to breath,
It suffocates her but sustains her too,
Her evening begins with candle-lights and clandestine rooms,
Where ‘NO’ is a word her throat can never know.

But then the sun rises and it begs,
To conjure some hope as it’s the sun after all,
But even when the sun rises her nightmares do not end,
She is left cold and miserable.
The only make-up you can see on her face now,
Is the dust of broken mirrors.

Her eyes are bleeding
The dreams which were taken away,
Her limbs are too tired to walk any further,
Each day she is losing the light from her eyes,
She was once the queen of fireflies.

And again she is doomed to be dragged into those doors,
To uphold fake smiles and reluctance ignored,
Her fate has imprisoned her with madness unknown,
While her destiny awaits,
To be sold for another night again.


Orginally featured in “The Writers Hub” – a recent initiative presented by LHS MUN and Ankara!

• The Writers Hub gives amateur as well as professional writers, a platform to showcase thier writings to a large and open audience.
You can submit poems, stories, articles, blogs, pieces of any genre free of cost, with no age linit for the writers!
•The writer will get complte credit for thier post.

Click here for details on how to become a part of The Writers Hub community!


Thank you for reading, it is deeply appreciated. My serious inactivity here gives you no reason to comment but feel free to let me know your thoughts on this one and thank you again! 
You can contact me here.

@theniharikadiaries

 

Scarred Nights

brown rocky mountain photography

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com

My thickest voids scream into
The toxic visions of reality,
They dwell on the highs and escapes;
As I dive into my consciousness,
And search within the dark waters.
Every corner,
Every cliff,
Just,
One metaphor.
That’s all I need right to describe
My poetic hallucinations.

I am drifted on this island,
where everything I see is controlled by
the puppet master inside my head.
Grey clouds and raging storms,
With swirling letters once thrown away.

I did not choose to envision these disturbing sceneries,
But they happen to be the things that control me.
My insatiable sanity stirs my soul into delusions,
And spins a web of beautiful lies to make suicide seem noble.

I rip the pillow covers of their burden,
of soaking my emotions every night,
The chains break in their efforts
To bar my soul so it doesn’t free itself,
Of the magical metaphors I write to survive.

I maintained hope,
But it consumed me.
My every breath tripped,
Along the crevices of the cliffs
Of high expectations,
I had from myself.
Hope came crashing down
And ghosted itself behind dusty corners,
As I crumbled,
Piece by piece,
Every shred of my sanity,
Being stripped down till nothing but a deep void.

I am told,
Whenever you describe your dark parts in a poem,
Say “demon”.
Defeat them,
And you emerge victorious.
But if I do,
I won’t live to see the party.
Because I am that demon to be erased,
I am the metaphor,
Balancing on my grave.

Gratitude Post!

gratitude final

Hello Guys! Yes, a year back I joined WordPress and today is my one-year anniversary!
And this post is just an effort to make you readers know my gratitude towards you all.

We’re in tough times right now and these tiny moments of hope and joy somehow provide us strength and something to be grateful for. In this whole universe of bleak misfortunes and pain, I live in a small world, and I’m lucky to be blessed, healthy and breathing in that fraction of the universe. I’m grateful to you all, and even though there are a million things I can be morose about, these simple and small moments like just listening to the sounds of the rain, simply sitting together with my family, having this notification of a one-year achievement, make me feel happy in their own special way. And I’m sorry if I don’t say it often but thank you so much for being a constant support and reading whatever I post on this blog. I am very grateful to have you as my reader and without you I’m nothing. Thank you for all your suggestions, appreciations and the thoughts you’ve presented in the comment sections, I deeply value them. Thank you for your beautiful kindness 🙂

And today, that’s what I want to write a little about. Gratitude. The tiny speck of light which can make you feel so much better and bring you hope. If we think about it, there’s always a cliche ‘bright side’ to everything. When we get through pain, it makes us stronger individuals. And if we try to hold on to a positive approach towards negative things, we can be grateful and find a way to draw hope. This doesn’t mean being positive about a negative thing, it only means to have an approach towards the negativity which is positive. If you’re feeling any negativity, pain or emptiness, having a positive approach means accepting that pain and not being in denial of it or refusing to feel the pain.

Having a positive approach means allowing yourself to feel the pain as you know it’s only going to make you stronger.

And it is our ability to have a positive approach towards the negative things in life which defines our strength and hence the ability to be grateful.

I do not intend to be insensitive or hurt anyone by my words because there will be times when we cannot be grateful and that is completely okay. There will be times we end up being so deeply buried inside the pain it starts to feel you’re within your own grave stuck in bleak madness without any ray of hope. I won’t say I know how it feels because I truly cannot. But I understand, and what I do know that it is okay and you will get through it and you deserve to see the light because you have so much of strength within you and you will get through this battle. Do not give up.

I will end this post now but before I do, I want to know, from all you readers what are you grateful for. What moments have brought you joy in your little world? And has practicing gratitude helped you during times when you felt low? I wanna know your story and I hope you share it.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you’re blessed and safe.


You can contact me here.
I’m open to all your thoughts and opinions.
Thank you!
@theniharikadiaries

Glass Leaves

book rose thing

Photo Credits – Shutterstock

I’m tired,
My spine stays relaxed as I shut my eyes and disconnect
From the commotion of reality,
Which has all of a sudden shushed. 

But my mind is louder than it has ever been before,
Though the night doesn’t make a single twitch,
The voices in my head are draining me,
And my mind of its energy.

I turn to the other side.
My eyes are shut and I can see nothing,
I fall into a vision of an unknown delusion,
As my mind loses its illusion of control over Me.
The voices now seem to be shrieking underwater,
I can hear someone else speak.

I turn to the other side to see who is breathing
Such a familiar breath and I see you.
The energy in being drained by energy
is coursing through my blood,
As I succumb to the nocturnal desires.
I see you and only you,
and nothing’s more peaceful than that as of now.

My nerves put their best efforts
to rationalize this state,
But they’re failing to make my mind function again.
I’m lost in the vast universe you hold within the realm of your eyes,
My throat aches for words to utter,
But I fail in my every try.
I’m silent.

I then hold you,
I can see your hands in mine,
But I cannot feel them.
I know something is wrong.

I blink.
I can’t see you anymore,
You’ve disappeared into the void I was staring.
And melted into reality.
As I turn to see but a blurred scenery,
While the slumber crawls into the silent abyss.

It seems that the true works of art,
Are only birthed by silence.
The silence of the soul,
Or the desire to be silent
and to quiet the insanity of the demons in your mind,
Or the silence asked of you,
When the world suffocates your voice,
And asks you to crouch down.
But we rise up with our art anyhow.

And the silence which is capable of birthing poems,
the night is ringing today.
The painting in the sky’s canvas,
Is filling up the pages in a poet’s hut somewhere.

And while our love has frozen
Into an epitome of eternal autumn,
And the future in our pages
Has withered away into hallucinations,
I won’t lie to myself and let the nights drive me paranoid,
I will find that deserted quill,
And rewrite my story.


Hey Guys! I wrote this some days back and the ending today, so it feels a little abrupt or rushed to me? I don’t know, I’m really looking forward to your thoughts on this one in the comment box. So I thought of the title ‘Glass Leaves’ as I refer to that phase as ‘Autumn’, and the leaves which have withered, that is the pages, which now hurt like glass? I don’t know, let me know if you like the title as I’m trying to come up with better titles for what I write. I would certainly not consider this a great piece, and I hope someone actually reads it fully. 

I hope you’re all well and safe. Please take care and my love and blessings to you all.

You can contact me here.
Thank you for reading!
Suggestions welcome!
@theniharikadiaries

A Land of The Unknown (Part 3)

STAIRWAY Final

Photo Credits – Shutterstock

Up ahead I see a flight of stairs,
Made of sparkling fluid and translucent air,
I take one step and lose my balance but I’m fine,
Walking on water was way ahead of our time!

Up and up I step and stroll,
Nobody knows what the end shall behold,
I have now entered a void, there are no stairs anymore,
There simply lies a distorted door!

My hand trembles as I turn the knob,
My heart pounds and starts to throb,
The scene flickers and I black out,
A second later I realise what it’s all about!

Was it all a dream or a hallucination I wonder,
But it all makes sense when my head I lower,
I find myself in my room’s nook,
Brought out of the enchanting book,
In my lap lies the book, the last page over.

But I refuse to believe that this is the end,
As I know a book can never leave me disheartened,
If the thirst for mystery doesn’t fill our hearts,
I know I can make more parts. 

My story had so much more,
But the rest is for me to explore,
We all have a story, but where does it lead?
The answer is to simply read…


Hello guys! This is the third and the last part of ‘A Land of The Unknown’, which is a collaborative effort by Kim’s Magic and me. She is undoubtedly an amazing writer and her words inspire me. It was a pleasure to work with you, Kim. I’m so glad we wrote this together.

You can find the first part here and the second part here.

Stay safe and healthy!
Thank you so much for reading!
Suggestions welcome!
@theniharikadiaries

A Land of The Unknown (Part 2)

Sunflowers in the moonlight.jpg

Photo Credits – PBase.com

I now roam astray in a moonlit field,
Wondering who was my shield,
Then I see sunflowers, they sing and sway,
They blow my worries away.

The scene has taken a bright contrast,
An enchanting spell has been cast,
The night isn’t as terrifying as it was before,
It doesn’t seem to be so silent anymore.

Stuck in a warzone of battling emotions,
One side wrath and the other satisfaction.
A part of me wants to stay and escape eternally,
But the other is urging me to find the reality. 

The land spreads its wings,
Is this where the adventure begins?
I’m alone, I’m isolated, is this quarantine?
In a land never heard of or seen.

My heart quickens,
The mystifying fog thickens,
It’s all a deep mystery, I don’t know what ahead will lie,
As my eyes see a beam of hope coming from the sky…
Will I make it out or die?


Check out Part 1 here and the third part here.

Thank you for reading!
Stay tuned!
Suggestions welcome!
@theniharikadiaries

A Land of The Unknown (Part 1)

Photo Credits – Pinterest

(Narrative)

 

I stumble up and peer around,
The silence doesn’t make a sound,
I shout and scream and screech,
But nothing is within my reach,

I take a step and try to find,
Some vague face of humankind,
But when I see this fractured scenery,
I know the silence is my only company. 

My bare feet shuffle in the damp grass,
The sky is crying rain made of glass,
I outstretch my hand and catch a drop,
Delicate as petals, it shatters with a pop.

The gothic scene sows within me volumes of fright,
I’m astounded by this peculiar sight,
The showers have stopped but there are puddles and mud,
As I see my shadow shine in a pool of my own blood!

Astonished and alarmed,
I hope I am not harmed,
Was it the glass I clutched?
But I feel myself, I’m untouched.

I try to get a hold of it all,
Is this a dream I can’t recall?
Can I get out of it alone?
Can I escape the land of the unknown?


The above is a collaborative effort between Kim’s Magic and me. Go check out her amazing blog with her magical poetry indeed!

You can check out Part 2 here and Part 3 here.

Stay well and safe! 🙂
Thank you for reading!
Suggestions are welcome!
@theniharikadiaries

 

 

 

Even The Healthy Are Sick

Coorna

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

It’s 6:30 in the evening and I am sitting here, in dire lack of inspiration, just trying to write something, anything, even nothing would be satisfying now in these times. It’s terrifying, how an incurable (as of now) virus has shipwrecked every soul breathing. Though I am grateful that all my friends, my family, and every person near and dear to me are blessed and safe, these psychological scars bleed for love and affection, as we self-isolate and stay apart.

Millions of people have been affected by this misfortune, and I deeply hope they heal. However, it is no new statement to say that this virus has affected all physically healthy and blessed as well. We all are emotionally ill, whether you know it or not. I hear them refer to the termed “COVID-19 cases” as “the sick”. But the truth is, that we all are. And the whole world is.

   Every single one in the seven billion of the earth has been affected emotionally.

COVID-19 … It’s in the news, in articles, it’s in every conservation, every small and big talk; if big talk really is a term. I decided to not regularly watch the news, for I found it unnecessary for me to bother me with negativity on a regular basis. I refused to be greatly bothered. I get my updates only through my parents, or if I check them once in a blue moon. But the number of people who have been affected by the virus seems to grow by the day and it has crawled into the city where I live like a silent hurricane and I now check the news more often.

We all are aware of the safety guidelines. But what has affected every single one of us the most is the social-distancing. And whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, ambivert — we all do not like this. The isolation is tough. Times are unpredictable and there is no vision of what lies ahead. It must be remembered that this isolation is crucial and though it is tough, do not give up and do not take the risk.

The virus is not seeking a particular religion, color, sex or ethnicity to attack. It has affected the world as a whole. Hence right now, we all have to stand together as one community, irrespective of our differences. There is a need to stand mentally together.

We cannot refuse to accept that we do feel more negative emotions now. We’re more frustrated than usual if something doesn’t work out as hoped, our routines are fluctuating which affect our energy and interest in working, in spite of it being your passion. We may even project our psychological stress onto our loved ones and get involved in fights, on even the tiniest and insignificant things. We all have been emotionally affected by the virus.

Though COVID-19 is a biological disease related to our physical health, it doesn’t mean our mental well-being is not important. It is as important as our physical well-being. Do not let yourselves shatter from the fear. We are not alone, abandoned or lonely. We all are together. And just because we are physically apart from our loved ones doesn’t mean our hearts are apart. Call them, send them a message, let them know you’re grateful. Talk, not about the virus. Talk so they know that there you are with them and so they forget about the virus’ terrors for some time.

We cannot control negative emotions. They’re gonna be there. They are there. And there’s nothing you can do to make them vanish. But you can always prevent those emotions from controlling you. These scars are going to affect us directly or indirectly, and that is inevitable. The only thing we can do is confront these scars. Confront negative emotions. Because only in that way can we realize the importance of strength, gratefulness, and hope in this battle.

Yes, it is frightening. We are afraid, we all are. And that is completely okay and normal. Breaking the preventive method of isolation just because it is tough, is not worth it and is wrong because social distancing and self-isolation are most effective for the prevention of the virus spreading. But taking care of yourself, not only by washing your hands but by engaging yourself in activities that bring you positive vibes is equally important.

I barely had any knowledge about cooking. I did help around, but I had no major contribution. But during this quarantine I did more, as I learnt more. I finally tried out that chocolate cake recipe I always wanted to! It turned out quite well! Mom helped, though. So right now I’m trying to learn some basic cooking, and I deeply hope to make a proper meal one day without assistance. Music heals me in unimaginable and unexpected ways, so I usually listen to music while doing my homework, as it motivates me to not stop out of boredom.

I read novels like ‘False Impression’ and ‘Everything is F*cked’, and ‘The Merchant of Venice’ is next on the list. I am not able to write as I usually do, but I am trying to do my best to continue and write anything, though it may not be worth reading; and then waiting for the inspiration to strike while I write my best nothing. I have chosen to self-reflect and have resolved to work on myself and become a better and mature thinker.

What I’m saying is soothe your soul with whatever works for you the best and do not confuse physical barriers to be emotional ones. If you’re feeling low or disturbed, you can always talk to your loved ones about it, they’ll understand. We all are under the same cloud right now. And we all can get through this. If you can, stay grateful and strong. It will be alright. Please try not to let fear get the better of you.


Do not let your psychological scars bleed you of hope.


Thank you so much for reading! Stay safe and blessed.

Originally published on Medium through ACorneredGurl. Read here

Inspiration

lalal

Photo Credits – Global Indian Stories

I wove inspiration from scraped clothes,
Tattered pieces speak enough woe,
The heart mumbled words,
Which banged against my soul,
But never came up to my throat.

When novels run out of unturned pages,
When poems run out of mystical metaphors,
And when life is a series of unspoken words and spoken silences,
She emerges,
And soothes my soul,
Whispers and calms my insanity,
And gives me hope.

The Rhapsodic Empress is the queen of concave shadows,
Her eyes mirror forgotten mottos,
She’s the beacon, she’s the stories, the forgotten warrior,
The golden memories, my mother’s lap, she’s the words,
That you wanted to say the most but you didn’t,
The ones you typed all the way through and then eventually deleted.

She bellows a tune that enchants my senses,
She wraps me in the nostalgia of intricate notes,
She sews my scars and paints my wounds,
With colours I’d forgotten exist.

She sings
An explosion of inexpressible feelings
And invisible wounds,
A journey which streaks through your soul
And shows you how deep you have fallen,
Only to be caught again.

Oh how, when I was younger I thought the music was all that mattered,
My mind swooned in the bliss of the pulsating pitch of the strings,
And here I stand,
When the melody is just an expression of the emotions my heart pumps into my veins,
I hear only what the lyrics tell me.
Where every second is a reminder,
Of that somebody.

The Rhapsodic Empress sings to my soul in every way,
She has a song prepared for every day,
I reside in the Empress’ reign with absolute faith,
As I’m aware that she’ll give me the air I need to breathe,
When the suffocation has throttled my pumping lungs.
She’ll give me the escape I crave,
From this troubled reality.

Oh thou Empress,
You’re my only addiction,
You drug me and show me amber shades of strength,
You teach me that instead of falling in hope of being caught,
By the somebody who once left you in tattered pieces,
Fall freely along with a parachute, and be your own savior.

You show me the sunrise when the rays cease to exist,
You remind me it’s my scars and my failures which make me who I am,
Don’t give up on me,
Because you make me not give up on myself,
Stay with me,
I’ll have a companion in this battle.


Originally posted on Medium through ACorneredGurl

Follow, comment and share!

Suggestions are welcome!

@theniharikadiaries