Glass Leaves

book rose thing

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I’m tired,
My spine stays relaxed as I shut my eyes and disconnect
From the commotion of reality,
Which has all of a sudden shushed. 

But my mind is louder than it has ever been before,
Though the night doesn’t make a single twitch,
The voices in my head are draining me,
And my mind of its energy.

I turn to the other side.
My eyes are shut and I can see nothing,
I fall into a vision of an unknown delusion,
As my mind loses its illusion of control over Me.
The voices now seem to be shrieking underwater,
I can hear someone else speak.

I turn to the other side to see who is breathing
Such a familiar breath and I see you.
The energy in being drained by energy
is coursing through my blood,
As I succumb to the nocturnal desires.
I see you and only you,
and nothing’s more peaceful than that as of now.

My nerves put their best efforts
to rationalize this state,
But they’re failing to make my mind function again.
I’m lost in the vast universe you hold within the realm of your eyes,
My throat aches for words to utter,
But I fail in my every try.
I’m silent.

I then hold you,
I can see your hands in mine,
But I cannot feel them.
I know something is wrong.

I blink.
I can’t see you anymore,
You’ve disappeared into the void I was staring.
And melted into reality.
As I turn to see but a blurred scenery,
While the slumber crawls into the silent abyss.

It seems that the true works of art,
Are only birthed by silence.
The silence of the soul,
Or the desire to be silent
and to quiet the insanity of the demons in your mind,
Or the silence asked of you,
When the world suffocates your voice,
And asks you to crouch down.
But we rise up with our art anyhow.

And the silence which is capable of birthing poems,
the night is ringing today.
The painting in the sky’s canvas,
Is filling up the pages in a poet’s hut somewhere.

And while our love has frozen
Into an epitome of eternal autumn,
And the future in our pages
Has withered away into hallucinations,
I won’t lie to myself and let the nights drive me paranoid,
I will find that deserted quill,
And rewrite my story.


Hey Guys! I wrote this some days back and the ending today, so it feels a little abrupt or rushed to me? I don’t know, I’m really looking forward to your thoughts on this one in the comment box. So I thought of the title ‘Glass Leaves’ as I refer to that phase as ‘Autumn’, and the leaves which have withered, that is the pages, which now hurt like glass? I don’t know, let me know if you like the title as I’m trying to come up with better titles for what I write. I would certainly not consider this a great piece, and I hope someone actually reads it fully. 

I hope you’re all well and safe. Please take care and my love and blessings to you all.

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@theniharikadiaries

Waiting for You

I am tired of rhyming words,
Tired of surreal metaphors,
I’m tired of mirrored symbolism,
And tired of reading between the lines,
To find some worth that lies within deep.

For that’s what I do the entire time,
Go through the same day repeatedly as if Groundhog’s Day,
Finding out where I go wrong,
And finding the motives behind my beastly actions,
Due to the madness in my mind that you’ve driven me into,
As I stand here, waiting for you.

The ghosts of our past together haunt the silent chambers of my brain,
Which makes me commit fickle actions unwantedly in your anticipation,
I now tend to hurt everything I surround,
And the list of the people wanting to kill me gets longer by the day.

Perhaps I want them to kill me,
Erase my existence from this mortal world,
And burn me down to ashes,
And be the dirt on the finger tips,
Because I have lost myself,
I don’t know who I am anymore.

I want to write some free verse,
Which does not intend to catch your eye,
But only intends to mark me, my being,
So that you know I am here.
Alive.
Not dead.
Yet.

I had faith,
But now that’s lost.
I had hope,
But I saw no point in keeping that.
I had you,
And you have gone too.

I waited on the sandy sea shore for you,
And kept my eyes wide open and stretched,
Desperate in hope to see your glimpse,
But I’m tired of finding you.

For now I want you to find me,
Because I can’t find myself right now,
As I have frozen.
I’m a bony skeleton,
Covered in skinny sheets of your scarred love.

But my soul is drunk on this addictive love we have,
I am high,
On your tempting touch.

But you’re not here in physical senses,
Even though I feel your presence,
It’s maddening how I want you and I feel you,
Knowing that I’m already dead.

Because I froze dead in your cold wait,
As the sand combed my sole,
and succumbed my soul,
and trapped it within.

But my love for you will never cease,
As when we’re together I feel this eternal bliss,
So let’s let our souls meet again in a cosmic world,
As this love our souls share shall always be immortal.

During my wistful wait for you,
I gained momentary peace from the calm lonely waters,
And it reflected the moonlight above which penetrated my heart,
As it reminded me of the glistening spark mirrored in your eyes.

And I ran my crisp fingers through that translucent swell,
To feel your soul to know that you’re there,
And the aphrodisiac waters of that lake,
Comforted my almost deadened veins with peace from your presence which I felt.

And the waves never stop their surging swell,
Raging a silent conflict of dissolved salts,
From the tears of the aeons of the dynasties above,
Crying out to the universe,
Fighting for their desires.

But now I am aware,
That our souls will unite and bind in cosmic energy,
So I have decided to wait once again,
In hope that the water will meet the sand in solace.


This time, I tried to write on the theme ‘Love’. The speaker is waiting by the shore but eventually freezes, but her soul now residing in the sand has not ceased her wait for his soul, whom she believes will visit through the waves.

This poem lightly sheds light on the intense madness one can feel when in love at times. Even though I feel that love is not something that lies in forever promises, but in the bonds of friendship and trust between the persons, which automatically leads to a forever without having to promise it, this poem tends to highlight the craving of the soul with time turning into madness and eventually destruction, due to the longing of the soul for its lover far away.

However, I mainly intend to hint through this read that if one ever feels lost because of the loss of a loved one or some heartbreak, it doesn’t mean you are incomplete without them. You don’t need someone to find you. You find yourself and you learn to fall in love with yourself. You do not lose hope and never stop having courage. And most importantly, you must never blame yourself for whatever reason. Life always hits you hard. It’s your choice whether to collapse, or take your time to rise up and move on.

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