cowboy like me

Our eyes were devices we could use to switch between worlds we had to call home because it was the only world others could see and worlds where nobody thought we stayed. Deception was the one language we could never fail to be fluent in and although we believed in kindness, we never gave it to ourselves. Happiness proved to be a mirage for though we tried, it was never ours to be owned: only to be stolen; for it was in the very search of peace that we had crumbled. We had swam through perilous waters and it somehow managed to drain every bit of goodness to ourselves from us. We were heartbreakers, yes, but the first heart we ever broke was our own. And though we tried to tell ourselves those beautiful lies of blind hope, we failed. Was life even worth living after going through those raging seas?

But you see, lying was an art we had learnt to perfect through practice. Though we could never lie to ourselves and tell us that we deserved love, we had lied to everything about our life and cursed it with an identity under which nobody could think of us as good. We were never born villains, we chose to become one so that the hopelessness in our souls felt like it belonged in our body. However, our mastery allowed us to distinguish between the images of a person with such ease. We could peer through the opaquest of hearts and manage to find just one hint of fragility. We could hunt for buried sins in eyes veiled with innocence.
Maybe that’s why we could never accept the bitter truth: that though we could never love ourselves we were capable of loving each other.

We wanted ‘us’ to be a lie as much as possible, but it was always there. And no, there was no rapid heartbeat or a innocent streak of red over my cheeks when I was first saw you. But something in the way you looked at me felt like you had entered right into that world where nobody thought I stayed. That world had emotions and you felt like a gentle touch of comfort which was only provided by home. You see, we were the bad guys in everybody else’s eyes but we couldn’t convince ourselves to be so in each other’s. Because all they saw was what we showed them but we had managed to peer right through that. We were from the same flesh and bone, and fought the same battles. We had vowed to never love again, for we did not carry the strength to let our scars breathe.
Suffocation was the coping mechanism we had enforced upon us since now more than a decade. Because though we deceived and cheated and robbed trusting eyes blind, we were weak.

Behind those fishnet hats and bold countenances was damage buried too deep to be felt. But something about you made me question everything I believed. You showed me that maybe I could show myself a mere glimpse of kindness.
Maybe, I did have the potential to truly call happiness my own.

But ultimately, the darkness had to take over the light. It was not your fault, it was just how we had fashioned ourselves. The darkness though in abundance may not be the strongest, and the light though in fractions can prove to be the more powerful. But we chose to embody darkness as the mightier, stronger entity. It was where we felt we belonged. We were bandits, and we loved our lies a little bit more. But you were the home I always wanted to call mine but never could. You were the cause of my fires and the only one who could extinguish them too. You were my only constant I could truly rely on and no, I never deserved you. We were heartbreakers, but in our efforts to go about the way we do, we ended up mending each other. And I feel that rush. The rock-hard handles of rusty gates have melted and every emotion has swung open and is rushing to reunite with the body where it is meant to reside in. It is not frozen anymore and is pulsing in my blood. You showed me the way to love myself and that pain and happiness are emotions which thought distinct in nature, come together.
Maybe, happiness could now finally be felt.


Inspired from the song ‘cowboy like me’ by Taylor Swift

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Her Eyes Never Failed To Fool

Oh, babe, I know how much you loved to play hide and seek where you stole my heart and everything I could call mine.
And you always made me the seeker, dooming me to find myself in your vague reflection and you, the hider – never revealing your true self beneath those pearl eyes and teal stockings.
But the games were fun until that day when you took me to the lakes for one final round of hide and seek and stole my breath and strangled me in your ocean and left me to drown.

I never got to seek you again.


Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to share your thoughts or drop in any suggestions ❤
You can contact me here and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Originally published in A Cornered Gurl on Medium

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The Undiscovered Evidence

The ship had no name. But was it unnamed? The crew did not speak. But were they voiceless? If someone would’ve seen it in water, it must have been too late to know the mysteries behind the scene, but would it have been too late to save them?

I read all the articles written about the devastating incident that had happened just two days ago. A cruise travelling to Puerto Rico disappeared. But just after an hour when the waters were searched, no remains of the ship had been found. So the cruise didn’t just disappear. It vanished. As if concealed under a cloaking spell. A mysterious enchantment. But all that I let myself wonder was that if the emergency call for help to save themselves was made in that fraction of a minute before they could drown and knew were in danger, why was the investigation made after an hour? After all, the crew captain only had to push four buttons and dial a missed call at the least.

It was when my coffee pot got drained of liquid that I looked up to the black-framed metal clock. It was some three hours past midnight. Having read every article ever written and all available database of the investigations, I knew one thing for sure – it was all false. It had too many loopholes to be true and I wanted to know the real truth, no matter how harsh, at any cost. The truth which comes from investigating the so-called truth and not accepting it under all circumstances. It’s all under the government after all. You never know what has actually happened. We live in a world where even an accident could be a setup, staged just perfectly enough with the accurate props and stage setting. I knew there was only one thing I could do if I wanted to unveil the masks and find the matter behind the curtains. I spent the remaining energy of the coffee I had finished in gearing up for my impromptu voyage tomorrow.

My ship had been travelling for quite a while. My phone still had a connection. I was going through my list of possible theories when all of a sudden my phone lost network. I checked the map. I was just about to reach Puerto Rico. If the truth was in sight, it was very simple. It was just the waters and a shore in sight. But who knew I was to enter what future generations would call “The Bermuda Triangle”?

I sailed the ship towards the shore and saw a vague vision of an abandoned ship and its crew. I couldn’t see the name of the ship. I reached the shore.
They were all still alive.

Five years of professional experience and twenty-six of existential experience had prepared me to deal with shock quite well. I went up to one of the crew members for inquiry. I wanted to get every minuscule detail.
“Could you please help me with the reality of the incident? I am Detective Liza Richards, and I am just here to know what actually happened at the shores of Puerto Rico two days ago.”
“You want the truth?” asked a pearly-eyed man in a husky voice.
“Yes”, I mumbled.
They all roared in laughter. Never in my career had I come across somebody who found the idea of finding the sooth amusing.
“You’re the perfect example for irony. You come to seek the truth and converse with your suspects like they’re humans. Tell me, do you even ask them if they want to be recorded on the camera you’ve hidden in your cloth?”
I was startled, and if I would’ve allowed myself, scared.
“I think it would be better if we showed you the ‘truth’ instead”.
The last thing I remember was his husky voice turning into that of a beast and his teeth turning into fangs. He sprang upon me as he bit my neck. I wailed in pain. Was this a human or an animal? Or neither? My question was answered when I could see my blood trickling down to my wrist from my shoulders like a stream of a broken heart, with my heart rate slowly reducing and a suffocation enveloping me like an innocent prisoner.
He was a monster.
The truth rotted with the private investigator but there was no body found. But Liza’s story didn’t end as a mysterious death on the shores of Puerto Rico,
she became a crew member who never would be counted.
She disappeared, but she didn’t die.
Not really…

Vampire Art | Vampire art, Female vampire, Beautiful dark art


Hey Guys! This is my first try at writing a short story and yes, another vampire fiction. I had written a poem previously based on the same theme i.e. related to vampires, named The Bloodbath of Our Love, do check it out. The ending in this story is that Liza was turned into a vampire by the crew member. Since this is my first time writing a short story, your open and honest feedback would be really appreciated. I would really love to know your thoughts on this one!

Hope you’re all well and safe!
You can contact me here
Thank you so much for reading!
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Glass Leaves

book rose thing

Photo Credits – Shutterstock

I’m tired,
My spine stays relaxed as I shut my eyes and disconnect
From the commotion of reality,
Which has all of a sudden shushed. 

But my mind is louder than it has ever been before,
Though the night doesn’t make a single twitch,
The voices in my head are draining me,
And my mind of its energy.

I turn to the other side.
My eyes are shut and I can see nothing,
I fall into a vision of an unknown delusion,
As my mind loses its illusion of control over Me.
The voices now seem to be shrieking underwater,
I can hear someone else speak.

I turn to the other side to see who is breathing
Such a familiar breath and I see you.
The energy in being drained by energy
is coursing through my blood,
As I succumb to the nocturnal desires.
I see you and only you,
and nothing’s more peaceful than that as of now.

My nerves put their best efforts
to rationalize this state,
But they’re failing to make my mind function again.
I’m lost in the vast universe you hold within the realm of your eyes,
My throat aches for words to utter,
But I fail in my every try.
I’m silent.

I then hold you,
I can see your hands in mine,
But I cannot feel them.
I know something is wrong.

I blink.
I can’t see you anymore,
You’ve disappeared into the void I was staring.
And melted into reality.
As I turn to see but a blurred scenery,
While the slumber crawls into the silent abyss.

It seems that the true works of art,
Are only birthed by silence.
The silence of the soul,
Or the desire to be silent
and to quiet the insanity of the demons in your mind,
Or the silence asked of you,
When the world suffocates your voice,
And asks you to crouch down.
But we rise up with our art anyhow.

And the silence which is capable of birthing poems,
the night is ringing today.
The painting in the sky’s canvas,
Is filling up the pages in a poet’s hut somewhere.

And while our love has frozen
Into an epitome of eternal autumn,
And the future in our pages
Has withered away into hallucinations,
I won’t lie to myself and let the nights drive me paranoid,
I will find that deserted quill,
And rewrite my story.


Hey Guys! I wrote this some days back and the ending today, so it feels a little abrupt or rushed to me? I don’t know, I’m really looking forward to your thoughts on this one in the comment box. So I thought of the title ‘Glass Leaves’ as I refer to that phase as ‘Autumn’, and the leaves which have withered, that is the pages, which now hurt like glass? I don’t know, let me know if you like the title as I’m trying to come up with better titles for what I write. I would certainly not consider this a great piece, and I hope someone actually reads it fully. 

I hope you’re all well and safe. Please take care and my love and blessings to you all.

You can contact me here.
Thank you for reading!
Suggestions welcome!
@theniharikadiaries