An Eternal Sleep of Happiness

My sleepy, gloomy conscience craves my bed,
To my now staying awake I want to put an end,
Every blink of the eyes is a relief, for every second it feels a nightmare,
Between the grave and bed there is not much to compare…
Only that the bed offers happiness for a short time,
And the grave will offer joy eternally to be mine.

Oh! How my mind craves the resting grave,
Where I can rest my heart and rest my soul and forever go to sleep,
People say every second’s a boon so be grateful and happy,
So how can I tell the world that me dying is the only way for others feeling grateful and jolly?

But the truth be told I just don’t care,
About happiness and satisfaction the long theories, I don’t wanna give importance,
But if they are feelings which you know are right instinctively you’re aware,
Then I’m pretty sure the place where I’m going to find solace is my grave.

So before into my gloomy dreams and hallucinations you ask me to drive,
I just want to tell you, now I don’t have time,
Because as their theories say, do what gives you satisfaction deep,
So I now happily inform you, that I’m going to sleep.

*************

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Lisa Grey

I’ve sealed the way into my heart,
I’ve become a human void of feelings,
I try reading their minds and read between the lines directly from the start,
Because I can’t trust what anyone tells me now a single thing.

I have become suspicious of every move,
I’ve started to think my life is conspired by a demeaning beast,
I’m frightened to live, I have a fear to again love,
Because I can’t forget how my ferocious fate has now made me its feast.

I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, have given up, have been through thick and thin,
And now I’ve developed a fear of going through it again,
So now I’ve decided to put my past behind and not have a bit of it on my mind,
Because I’m at a stage where I don’t want to cause anyone any pain.

I’ve decided to go undercover, and live like I ain’t alive,
I’ve decided to let me live in torment because that’s what everyone feels in my presence,
I’ve decided to move on and run away from my burning fire of life,
Because my absence is the only way to bring luminescence.

Such were the thoughts of Lisa Grey,
She thought giving up was the only way,
She began to think how to escape on her bed as she lay,
And just about that, a long lost friend in front of her came.

He wore a flat hat like a beanie and a shaggy overcoat,
He was more than a friend and no less than a lover,
He was her dear father.
“Papa?”, she spoke, a sparkle of startle and hope in her voice awoke.

“Liz”, he replied in a tone of gentle sweetness which also indicated he was to ponder on something,
He was to talk to her about how she truly felt about anymore not living
A solution for her in the pain and the sorrowful darkness she saw he wanted to find
He wanted to encourage and support her before she planned to leave her life behind

“I want to talk to you about how you feel,
I can understand if it with you are unable to deal,
But you can always ask for help and try your best to self-heal
But don’t for the beasts of your destiny so soon be a meal.”

“You are a pure creature, God’s child with a splendidly selfless soul
You always put everyone above yourself,
And now it is a habit onto which you hold,
Because you’re leaving because you feel you would be doing a favour to them”

“But before you go, ask yourself this,
Do they know what you go through?
Do they know that your tears wet the pillows?
Do they know about how you truly feel?
So how can you without asking for help decide to leave?”

“You are a person with a spirit full of strength
You have tremendous power for the pain to fight against
Just talk it out, and have hope and don’t think to others you’re a burden
Because you’re a beautiful human being, full of strength, self-belief and hope within.”

Tears had welled up both their eyes,
Lisa had never been under such a whelm of support,
She was confused as she did not know what ahead lies,
Because in her life she had reached the most crucial crossroad.

She could either take the easy way, and put an end,
Or she could find happiness by starting again.
She could develop into a new version and live the received joy until comes the natural end,
Or she could let the loss of her life be the beasts of her past’s biggest gain.

The thoughts in her mind to end the matter,
Closed her eyes as she went into a slumber,
She had decided to stay another day and not let that sleep be eternal,
But there was someone whom she deeply loved whose life had ended like any mortal.

It was her father.

The next morning she woke,
The sentence she couldn’t bear hearing her mother spoke,

“Your father passed away yesterday noon”, she said,

But hadn’t her father the previous night visited?

And in the matter of a blank second her heart raced,
Raced because in her life a tremendous hurricane had taken place,
This hurricane struck her like lightning because of the day previous she had now no clear vision,
Her father’s spirit had visited her, but only her, so that only she could see him in person, for it surely was not her imagination.

And in that moment it all changed.
She started to see the blue in the sky.
The brightness of the sun up high.
The cheerful chirping of the sparrows
For now in her life she chose to suck out the marrow.
So for the peace of her dear father,
She decided not to torture herself any further.

She wanted to be happy, so she lived every second,
She decided to do what she felt good about and was right,
To her unknown loneliness she decided to put an end,
For she had now decided to not cry under the bedsheet all night.

She decided not to give up, and stand up on her own toes,
She chose to see her limit by finding out only after her flight,
She decided to not measure her ability on others’ scale to grow.
But to choose her own life, even if the long way, to say strong inside and continue to fight.

So my dear friend,
Open your eyes and Lisa’s strength commend
And remember, you too can be strong so never give up
For it’s completely your choice to be your life’s own master or be the past’s demeaning beasts’ dinner.

***************

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The Omen of Death

The omen of death

Is very wild indeed

It will linger till your last breath

On your happiness to feed

It will twist your mind

It will destroy your soul

It will crush your hope

And in your heart will leave a hole

It will stop making you feel vital

And of faith you’ll feel devoid

It will decompose your self-trust

And will make your insanity a must

The omen of death

Will destruct your self

You will be unable to live in the present

For it feasts on the deeds you through no fault of you own repent

You will drown in an ocean full of gloom

You will never be able to grow and groom

Because there are no buds of hope embedded in you to bloom

As the thorns of their criticism cut out all the room

And even though some say

There’s always a light at the end of your way

The omen of death has conjured such terrible pain

That all lights seem to be incoming trains

That no matter how much try you may

The omen will ensure death in your own way

There is prospect of being safe when you reach this place

Because all of a sudden there is fogginess around

Waiting to strangle you to death and put you to the ground

The omen of death, as its name suggests

Has just one aim, that’s to bring about death

Spiritual, mental death of your soul and mind,

The pain of which will eventually force you to leave your body behind

This omen is feared greatly of all

Because unlike some others, they are not visible to the naked eye

To sense this omen and its intentions

You need a deep understanding of what a person is truly feeling

This omen of death has various names from various views

Each gathering more loneliness the more labels one makes

The more one labels them, the more the omen feeds on them

As it has succeeded in making way for the Almighty to take

The omen of death

Is very wild indeed

It lingers till your last breath

On your happiness to feed

It will twist your mind

It will bend your soul

It will suck out every ounce of happiness

Before it’s the victim’s time tho go

So my dear readers

Of this omen beware

It can be found anywhere

I’m now too late to escape

As it had already targeted me

But I’ll tell you something

If you start loving yourself for the way you are

And learn to not give up on you

The possibilities of this omen in your life will move away from you

It’s too late for me

Which is why I’m writing this

Just learn to trust and believe in yourself

If you want to become happy again.

***

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